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Excerpt:
THOMAS
October 12, 1898
Two days.
Two miserable days,
which are sure to be the longest of my life.
I have been a complete
and utter mess, and all the while, Neville has never been happier with me.
Strange, since I still have not
actually performed this grand feat he has planned out. One would think that
would have him just as anxious (nay, more)
as I. Or one would assume that at the very least, he would consider changing
his mind.
I am not even suggesting
that he has to cancel the performance—he could simply rework the set. Find
another trick with which to close the show. A trick he has already mastered
over his long career—one that he can pull off without as much magic and as much
risk.
My accident in the
theatre still has the man reeling. He is certain that our premiere will be just
as spectacular as he first envisioned it. *I
am making note now to take special care during the performance that he does not
come anywhere near me with that cane.*
He is so confident in
how smoothly everything will run that he canceled our final rehearsal. I hardly
knew what to do with myself, but in these past weeks I have been making myself
physically ill with worry, so I needed some sort of distraction.
Part of me wanted to
return to Manchester Square. Perhaps I would be so fortunate as to run into a
certain handsome stranger again, but I quickly dismissed the notion as foolish.
The chances of him being there a second time were slim at best, and even if I
did see him, what would happen any differently? What new courage would I have
now that I did not possess during our first encounter?
I ultimately landed on
reading, which was sufficient distraction for a few hours’ time, but now I lie
awake in bed, restless once more. I have a life-altering decision before me. Do
I throw the act entirely? Let Neville Wighton’s good name and his career tumble
down while I revel in his embarrassment and shame? I am quite past any guilt
for these secret thoughts. The man has been tormenting me ever since he
employed me. Not to mention, with his career in ruins, the magician would no
longer need an apprentice. I would be free of him. And I certainly have the
power to make it so…the real question is if I have the bravery.
Or, do I actually attempt the feat and risk exposing myself? It
hardly seems worth it at this point, but my parents arranged this
apprenticeship for a reason that I cannot ignore.
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